I’m not going to lie to you, I used to find it really difficult to stand strong against thoughts of failure. All too often I would let those thoughts consume me and on many occasion they triggered a depressive episode, leaving me wrapped in self loathing for weeks at a time.
These days I have the tools and care strategies in place to avoid such meltdowns, but even though I am so very proud of my progress, it doesn’t mean I’m not challenged by thoughts of failure. By no means does my life exist without them, I just know now not to listen to them so intently.
Key to combatting these thoughts, and indeed a key part of my recovery journey, has been to reflect on my progress. To celebrate my triumphs no matter how small.
On those days were I feel worn down by these thoughts, I’ll look back on old journals, old texts and old blog posts, to remind myself of exactly how far I’ve come. I highlight the many things I have achieved and withstood so far.
That light that comes from progress, from pure resilience, can overpower any thought of failure. Any tedious, no good idea that I may in fact not be designed for greatness or deserving of happiness gets suffocated by the knowledge that I am in fact a strong, caring and hard working individual.
That no matter what life throws at me, I will be there pushing forward, holding out for something beautiful.
And how do I know this?
Because I’ve done it time and time again.
By reflecting on my capabilities, I can prove to myself and these no good thoughts, that I will rise above another challenge.
No matter what my thoughts tell me, I know that I will be here tomorrow, fighting for everything that sets fire to my soul.